Long distance relationships: Not a negative experience for everyone

As a freshman, of course all of the upperclassmen give me their "must have advice" as far as what to do, where to do it and ultimately how to have the best college experience I possibly can. I will admit they are usually 90 percent right.

However, there is one thing that drives me crazy. I absolutely hate it when I am told to break up with my girlfriend.

It's common advice to incoming freshman. There is always a heavy pressure from magazines, peers and others to break up with your partner when leaving for college. I simply don't understand why that is.

Recently my girlfriend of seven months moved to the state of New York and we collectively decided to stay together.

I'm a little concerned that this notion of splitting up for college falls in line with a lack of monogamous relationships.

For example, one of the most common reasons for people giving this advice is something like, "College is a great time to experiment and have fun, and you shouldn't have someone tying you down." Personally, I find this contradictory to the morals that parents try to teach.

I'm sure not all relationships going into college will stay together and that's a good thing. It will weed out the weaker couples from the stronger couples.

There's no doubt that long distance puts a stress on the relationship. I agree that it is not for everyone. Some couples aren't as serious as they think, and going to college is a good time to separate.

I, however, see it as a test to strengthen my relationship.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and a relationship across the country is one intense way to experience that. It's yet another way for a couple to test their limits and grow even closer to each other. There are a plethora of things that can be reinforced such as trust and communication.

These days, long distance relationships are easier than they have ever been. Cell phones make communication instant with text messages and calls at any time or place.

The Internet is also a catalyst for communication. Facebook and MySpace make a great place for informal conversations as well as email. The instant message programs such as AIM and iChat are great, and so are video chats with webcams, which come in most laptops these days. Video chat is a great way to get face time with them and ease the separation.

The pressure to break up with your partner seems rather an absurd request. It's not recommended when you get a new job, when you get an award, or other important times, only when you are going to college.

There is plenty of fun to be had in college without breaking up.

There are so many clubs to join, fraternities and sororities, and dating other people is not necessarily a staple in the college experience that is so frequently preached.

I recommend some of these things to help if you are planning on engaging in a long distance relationship. Trust your partner; it is extremely important to trust their judgment.

Send things in the mail as often as you can, things like a sweatshirt or pillow with your cologne/perfume on it. Talk on the phone, just hearing their voice is comforting, and keeping in touch with what is going on in their lives is important and shows you care.

Long distance relationships have always been a social and cultural taboo for couples. The difficulty that people have to go through for a decent relationship often drives them apart, making it a daunting task.

Overcoming this challenge takes work, but from personal experience, it is worth it.