Drunkenness abounds in Comedy Central 'History' show

“Drunk History” decided to retell the First Ladies’ stories of course. For those who have never watched Comedy Central’s TV show “Drunk History,” it is a show that gives history lessons to the audience from people who are belligerently drunk.

Drunken people are usually fun to watch regardless, because of their poor word choices and decision-making. The season finale is about three stand-out first ladies Frances Cleveland, Edith Wilson and Dolley Madison. The people drunk storytelling were Molly McAleer, Jen Kirkman and Jenny Johnson. The intro to the show tells the audience that all of the stories are based on true events, although every storyteller is completely drunk.

The show starts off with people being filmed at bars.  The producers asked them what a first lady is and how they are important. The drunk people at the bars start telling them what they think. One of the random bar people says, “Behind every good man is a ride or die kind of b****.”

The first story that is told is about Frances Cleveland, wife of President Grover Cleveland. Molly McAleer narrates the story of how the President needed to find a wife and met Frances and they had all this drama regarding her mother, who wanted to marry him. Frances’ mother sent her away to Europe for a year but the couple still wrote to each other until Cleveland proposed to Frances.

McAleer said, “It was like a Khloe and Lamar sort of 9 day wedding situation where they like very quickly announced their engagement.” She went back into the story saying, “ This was the first time that some President married a girl while he was in the Whitehouse”.

The second story is about Edith Wilson’s time in the Whitehouse. Jen Kirkman narrated the story after she told the audience that she might throw up because she had already had three drinks and two bottles of wine.

Woodrow Wilson was the President during World War I. Woodrow, according to Kirkman, had a stroke eighteen months before he left office. Apparently a serious stroke because he couldn’t move but Edith decided that her husband must stay in office and that she would take things over for him. Kirkman said, “Edith was like ‘No problem, I got this, shut up, sit down, I am in charge now’… Can I get my cheesy bread I brought?”

Meanwhile, Kirkman started spilling her glass of wine a couple times in the middle of telling the story and kept telling the producers to ignore it.

Back to the story, Congress got suspicious because they had not seen the President. Edith Wilson told them that he was exhausted. The Congress just let it slide and she kept running memo’s back in forth for her husband.

In reality she was made the bills and signed everything. Congress questioned it again and Edith faked him being able to sign things by propping him up in bed and taking photo shoots so that the public didn’t question him anymore. She eventually admitted that she had signed and made decisions.

Kirkman drunkenly said, “Well I wanna say one thing about her, she is not a hero. But that doesn’t mean she’s not a hero, does that understand you complicated? Does that make sense to you?”

The last story is about Dolley Madison, wife of James Madison and is narrated by Jenny Johnson. According to Johnson, Madison smoked, drank, did drugs and was the ultimate party girl. Everyone loved Madison and during this time the Whitehouse was under construction.

The war of 1812 happened and Britain arrived on the shores. James left her side and everyone in Washington left because of the war. Madison decides to hold her ground in Washington. She found out that all of the guards left. She took all of the valuables form the Whitehouse, including the painting of George Washington.

In the middle of telling the story Johnson takes an Instagram photo.

The British burnt the Whitehouse down. After Washington settled down, Congress decided they wanted to move to Philadelphia. Madison threw parties to try and convince Congress not to move. She continued this for four months and Congress listened to her.

Drunk history has been said to be the best kind of history.