2008 Woodie Awards
The Gameplan
Ex-MLB star predicts doomsday coming in 2012
Matt Macaulay, Sports Editor
Issue date: 3/1/06 Section: Sports
Darren (Dutch) Daulton, a three-time all-star catcher for the Philadelphia Phillies in the 90's, says Judgment Day is coming on Dec. 21, 2012, the day the Mayan calendar ends.
"On that day, at 11:11 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time, those who are ready to ascend will vanish from this plane of existence, like the crew of the Enterprise in Star Trek," said Daulton in an interview with SI.com.
Can you say 'whack job'?
He says that the numbers 11:11 symbolize twin strands of DNA and represent the balance of the universe.
"I'll wake up at night and look at the clock and it's 11:11," he said, "I'll look out the window and see a car passing with 1111 on the license plate. The car will turn into the driveway with 1111 on the mailbox."
Apparently God is trying to tell him something. Unfortunately, who's going to listen to Dutch Daulton?
Daulton retired from baseball in 1997 and has admittedly been "thrown in jail five or six times". Just two years ago he spent two months in the joint after agreeing to spend the rest of the six-month term in a drug-and-alcohol rehab center.
He's also been arrested for reckless driving, drunken driving, and domestic violence.
Surprise, surprise. Who better to trust with the guidance of our everlasting souls than a washed up ex-ballplayer hopped up on the sauce? God could have chosen a priest, a rabbi, a shaman, or even George W., but no, he decided to channel his ultimate wisdom through good ol' Dutch.
He says his wife Nicole, who has filed for divorce, blames their problems on alcohol and drugs, but he claims that he's neither an alcoholic nor a drug user.
"Nicole just doesn't understand metaphysics," said Daulton.
Studying and believing in the science, or pseudo-science, as some would call it, is one thing, but Daulton believes that the supernatural actually flows through him allowing him to effect the natural world.
"Whenever my thoughts got totally negative, it would automatically rain," he said.
His first experience with the Divine, though, came in a game against the Cubs when he hit a line drive to win the game.
"The strange thing was I didn't hit that ball. It wasn't me who swung that bat," he said.
Not all that strange when you consider how many players point toward the sky after getting a base knock these days, but most of, if not all of those guys, would say they are thanking God for simply giving them the ability to get that hit. Daulton is speaking more in terms of an out-of-body experience usually reserved for the likes of David Koresh and the Reverend Jim Jones.
Daulton also claims the Mayan pyramids are a part of a calculated galactic plan that involves the impending doom of human civilization, and may have been built by aliens.
When Dec. 21, 2012 comes, he says he'll be ready.
"I can't wait to disappear. I'd disappear today if I could," he said.
O.K. Dutch, tell Scottie and the crew we said hello.
"On that day, at 11:11 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time, those who are ready to ascend will vanish from this plane of existence, like the crew of the Enterprise in Star Trek," said Daulton in an interview with SI.com.
Can you say 'whack job'?
He says that the numbers 11:11 symbolize twin strands of DNA and represent the balance of the universe.
"I'll wake up at night and look at the clock and it's 11:11," he said, "I'll look out the window and see a car passing with 1111 on the license plate. The car will turn into the driveway with 1111 on the mailbox."
Apparently God is trying to tell him something. Unfortunately, who's going to listen to Dutch Daulton?
Daulton retired from baseball in 1997 and has admittedly been "thrown in jail five or six times". Just two years ago he spent two months in the joint after agreeing to spend the rest of the six-month term in a drug-and-alcohol rehab center.
He's also been arrested for reckless driving, drunken driving, and domestic violence.
Surprise, surprise. Who better to trust with the guidance of our everlasting souls than a washed up ex-ballplayer hopped up on the sauce? God could have chosen a priest, a rabbi, a shaman, or even George W., but no, he decided to channel his ultimate wisdom through good ol' Dutch.
He says his wife Nicole, who has filed for divorce, blames their problems on alcohol and drugs, but he claims that he's neither an alcoholic nor a drug user.
"Nicole just doesn't understand metaphysics," said Daulton.
Studying and believing in the science, or pseudo-science, as some would call it, is one thing, but Daulton believes that the supernatural actually flows through him allowing him to effect the natural world.
"Whenever my thoughts got totally negative, it would automatically rain," he said.
His first experience with the Divine, though, came in a game against the Cubs when he hit a line drive to win the game.
"The strange thing was I didn't hit that ball. It wasn't me who swung that bat," he said.
Not all that strange when you consider how many players point toward the sky after getting a base knock these days, but most of, if not all of those guys, would say they are thanking God for simply giving them the ability to get that hit. Daulton is speaking more in terms of an out-of-body experience usually reserved for the likes of David Koresh and the Reverend Jim Jones.
Daulton also claims the Mayan pyramids are a part of a calculated galactic plan that involves the impending doom of human civilization, and may have been built by aliens.
When Dec. 21, 2012 comes, he says he'll be ready.
"I can't wait to disappear. I'd disappear today if I could," he said.
O.K. Dutch, tell Scottie and the crew we said hello.