Sonoma State Star

Issue date: 4/15/08 Section: Sports

Did Steve Bartman ruin what could have been the end of a 95 year World Series drought for the Cubs in 2003? Perhaps. But more importantly, no glove was used in his botched attempt to catch a foul ball. [Click to enlarge]

With baseball season in full swing, the time has come for all to enjoy a sunny afternoon at the ballpark. In order to make a trip to the park complete, there are a few traditional necessities that must be upheld.

I know food is insanely overpriced, but you have to overpay to get a hot dog. Accompanying said hot dog should be a beverage. Even buy a beer or seven if you wish, and I do, so I will. Unfortunately, there are also necessary evils when you go to any baseball stadium across the country.

No matter which park you choose to attend, save for maybe the hallowed halls of Fenway Park, Yankee Stadium and Wrigley Field, you will find the same irksome issues in every single one.

You are sure to encounter your very uninterested, middle-aged woman reading the latest Danielle Steel novel. She has no clue she's at a baseball game.

Sitting seven rows back, you'll find your uber-important businessman discussing his most recent stock trade loud enough that the batter can hear.

Seated directly behind you will be a lovely young couple. Fortunately, you'll get to hear the young lady's repeated brilliant questions about the intricacies of this complex game like, "Why did he hit the ball on the ground? Isn't he trying to hit it as far as he can?" This girl doesn't know the difference between a baseball and a beach ball.

Of course, sometimes the boyfriend's equally astute response can outshine even the most intellectual of questions.

And if you're lucky enough, you're in the same section as the ridiculously belligerent, initially entertaining fan whose incessant and barely coherent heckling only seems to be making himself laugh. This guy, however annoying, makes you slightly jealous because he's having a better time than you are.

Continued...

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