Post Classifieds

A look at SSU's dating scene

By Paige Dominguez
On October 3, 2011

Here at Sonoma State University, it's safe to say that the girl to guy ratio is a little off. Despite the fact that over the past two years it's been said that more young men than young women have populated the incoming freshman class, it hasn't seemed to make a huge impact on the overall campus demographics. The problems that come along with having a small co-ed campus largely inhabited by mostly females are far from few.

As an incoming freshman, I was told the female to male ratio was about 70 percent women to 30 percent men. When you take into account that I attended a single sex high school, the wide gender gap didn't bother me in the slightest. I didn't recognize what a difference it actually made until I came face to face with Sonoma State's social atmosphere.

Many teens have a certain predisposed idea that their college career will be filled with an abundance of, if not serious, then at least casual dating. But here, I've found things to be a little different. From what I've experienced, this uneven gender disparity creates plethora of conflicts.

For women interested in college dating, there aren't many options to choose from. For men, on the other hand, they can basically have their pick of the litter. This unfair incongruity definitely affects the overall mindset of a lot of students.

The abundance of female prospects for the average male attending SSU easily acts as a safety net for young men, allowing them to revel in their remorseless promiscuous behavior. The disproportionate numbers grant men to feel a sense of entitlement when it comes to dating. They know that they can treat young women however they please and still, figuratively and literally, come out "on top," because even if the girl musters up enough self-respect to stop seeing that said jerk, there will still be four other females ready and willing to be the next week-long object of his affection, or at least the next notch on his bedpost.

The "hit it and quit it" mentality of many young men has not only deeply affected their attitudes and actions, but it's also impacted the attitudes and actions of the women they pursue. As a result of the lack of male prospects, I've witnessed time and time again young women lowering their standards (contributing to their already low self-esteem) and increasing their desperate and pathetic attempts to have even a shallow and oftentimes short quasi-courtship with someone; they make themselves so available to the point where it's almost sad. I'm so tired of seeing girls follow the same pitiful pattern of throwing themselves at any guy willing to give them attention, when it's so crystal clear that the guy is only interested in late night booty calls.

Plus, because of the small student body, it's not surprising when you can name at least five of the people your current fling has either dated or casually "hooked up" with. This often causes petty drama between catty females on campus, which can ultimately blow up into huge rivalries, slanderous rumors and even physical fights.

This unbalanced ratio ultimately not only highlights the gap between females and males, but it also contributes to the wide disconnect between the SSU community as a whole. It's a vicious cycle that doesn't seem close to reaching its end unless we ourselves begin to change it.

Ladies, stop subjecting yourselves to lackluster courtships with guys that aren't really interested in you as a person. If you're looking for a meaningful relationship, don't settle by sleeping with the first guy that shows you a little attention-- he won't respect you. Stop wasting your time on the hunt for a man; they should be coming to you. Being desperate is not an attractive quality. Instead, focus your time and efforts on healthier and more productive things, like school, work, family and friends.

Guys, just be honest. If you're not looking for a relationship, and you're not ready to be tied down to just one woman, tell them in the beginning. That way, after you've "hit it" and you're ready to "quit it," it's not awkward and there should be no hurt feelings involved because she already knew the terms of your relationship.

This isn't high school, people. You are in college-- it's that time period in your life where you're supposed to grow and mature into the respectable adult we all know your parents raised you to be. Now, your parents obviously aren't here to hold you accountable for your actions, so this is where it's up to you.  

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