The question on everyone’s mind

"What are you doing after graduation?"

It's a question thrown at many college students of a certain standing, whether at family gatherings, cocktail parties or any other venue that requires meaningless small talk. What people don't realize is what a loaded question this can be, particularly for those of us who don't have a comfortable answer, or any answer at all.

When we graduated high school, our parents, teachers and friends all expected us to know where we were going and what we were doing, and "educators" sent students into an academic rat race panic. Picking a college and a field of study was treated like marriage--a decision to be meticulously analyzed and thought over. It was a big deal. The school you picked would say everything about you and who you wanted to become. You only were worth as much as the school you went to.

Why do we force young people to make decisions like this? The reality is that our generation is going to live well into our 80s and 90s. And with the likelihood of us receiving our social security in the crapper, we're going to have to work longer in order to afford our retirement. Meaning that my 21 year old self is theoretically supposed to be training for a career that's supposed to last me for the next 60 years.

So here I am again. It's 2012, and I'm a naïve 21 year old version of myself, and every day is like a serious case of déjà vu. Everywhere I turn people are asking me the same questions about graduation and my "plans." My fellow students gather internships and job offers like notches on a belt, and every time someone mentions grad school it's over a turned up nose. I feel just as stupid and unimpressive as I did four years ago.

Why does life have to be so prescribed? The past 17 years of my life have been about preparation, about losing sleep and sacrificing time for a better grade or a tight deadline. I've worked very hard, and in my mind I promised myself that one day it would all pay off. I think people forget that payoff means different things to different people. In the midst of my extensive research of master's degrees and $40,000 graduate programs, I realized that I didn't care if I appeared successful to my peers or my family. Life isn't always going to be about school or work.

So here is the answer to the question everyone is asking:

After graduation, my boyfriend and I are taking a well-deserved, month-long European vacation. When we return, we'll move into a place of our own in Concord where he'll start work at Chevron headquarters. After four years of being apart, all I want is to be with him. And if that means supporting him and his career for the time being, so be it. Go ahead and call me lazy and insult my womanhood. I no longer care what you think, only about what makes me happy.

And besides, I still consider myself a pretty resourceful person. I'll find work as a writer or social media coordinator in the city or nearby in the east bay.

I'll be just fine.